news

"The Tribal Leaders of the Bread Clan committed suicide after learning their illegal lawsuit against Akua Niihau Pharaocracy was based on lies from the CIA.  Apparently some CIA operative supplied false intelligence about ANP and this was so convincing that the Tribal Leaders, who had gambled about $144,000 USD on the false data, chose to commit suicide rather than endure decades of public embarrassment and mockery... They chose the Egyptian Asp (cobra snake) because it would elevate their status to Egyptian royalty in the afterlife (suicide by Asp was used by Ancient Egyptian royalty to become One with Ra; as with Cleopatra VII).  No further word on their funerals or heirs were given. 

In other news today, Syria surrendered its Chemical Weapons recipe to an undercover agent posing as a North Korean supplier; apparently Syria imported its WMD from Russia and sought to export it to NK.  

There was rain in Northern Kauai this week, as is usual for the Second Wettest Place on Earth.
No rain forecasted in Niihau, of course, due to its arid climate."

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